A root of bitterness is a grudge that spreads to uninvolved parties, planting contempt for the accused and hindering God's grace. It leads to unforgiveness, rumor embellishment, and division among believers. To combat this, individuals should forgive offenses and avoid spreading resentment, while the church follows scripture-based conflict resolution without gossip.
What is a root of bitterness? And in what ways does it cause a person to be defiled and fail to attain God’s grace?
Simply put, a root of bitterness is a grudge that has spread to people who are not parties to the offense and who in turn form judgments on the matter. Such a root contaminates the listener because it plants in him a tendency to despise the accused offender. If the listener allows the root to grow, he will fail to attain to the grace of God, who does not despise the accused.
In addition, the spread of a grudge creates four other major problems.
First, those who hear a rumor cannot forgive the culprit identified in it. They cannot forgive him for the same reason that God cannot forgive him: they are not parties to the offense. Therefore, they cannot be reconciled. They may or may not forget or change their minds later, but they can never forgive or reconcile. They are left with a problem, even if they are only given accurate information and do not disseminate it any further.
But it is well known that, over time, if the listener keeps thinking about the rumor, his imagination will often add details to it. These imaginary details will tend to make the offense look worse than it actually was. “The words of a whisperer are as dainty morsels,” and we really enjoy embellishing those morsels to make them tastier!
In the same way, rumors tend to spread. Naturally, we enjoy telling our friends the latest juicy gossip. We know it’s bad, but we enjoy it a lot. Thus, the rumors spread from one person who was not a principal to the original offense, to a second person who was not a principal, to a third, and so on ad infinitum. And most of these people will pass on the rumor to numerous friends. That is why, while they are still current, rumors follow a law of exponential growth.
Finally, because most people in the chain will embellish the rumor before they repeat it, rumors tend to get more serious as they spread. What was originally a minor insult may ultimately be reported as a murder plot. And it will be totally imaginary. But the damage is being done in the hearts of the listeners. And this damage is essentially permanent and irreparable.
For these reasons, a root of bitterness, if allowed to spread, will cause members of the Body of Christ to despise the person accused in the rumor, even if that person is also a believer. And ultimately, if the spread of rumors is accepted in a church, the result will be that many members will distrust, fear, and despise others.
This situation is obviously the opposite of the peace with all and the holiness without which no one will see the Lord in the life of the believer or the church.
On a personal level, the only solution is to overlook offenses or seek reconciliation as soon as possible. If it is impossible to seek reconciliation, I must forgive without demanding reciprocity. And I must resist sowing resentment for the offense.
With respect to the church, the scriptures provide a procedure for resolving offenses that affect the church. Refer to Matthew 18:15-20. But this procedure never gives us permission to gossip or despise the offender.
Next: How should we respond together to the Lord’s discipline?
