The Four Types of Reconciliation

The Four Types of Reconciliation

1. God’s Reconciliation toward Me

 You, being in past times alienated and enemies in your mind in your evil deeds,  yet now he has reconciled in the body of his flesh through death, to present you holy and without defect and blameless before him, if it is so that you continue in the faith, grounded and steadfast, and not moved away from the hope of the Good News which you heard, which was proclaimed in all creation under heaven, of which I, Paul, was made a servant.
Colossians 1:21-23 (WEB)

This aspect of reconciliation is almost identical to the Atonement.  From the beginning, God loved me so much that he gave his unique Son Jesus, who was one with him from eternity, to provide for forgiveness of my sin, give me true life, and to make me one with him.  Colossians says that, until this happened, at least, my sins made me God’s enemy in my own mind. Colossians 1:21.  It says I was God’s enemy in my own mind.  It doesn’t say he was my enemy, only that I was his enemy because I believed him to be my enemy because of my sins. 

But, in whatever sense God may once have been my enemy, he is now completely reconciled to me forever.  Jesus’ death took care of that.  God no longer counts my sin against me.  His reconciliation to me is already perfect and complete.  I can’t add to it, and I can’t undo it.

In this way God’s reconciliation to me is UNLIKE my reconciliation to God and my reconciliation to other people separated from me by an offense.

God’s reconciliation to me is instantaneous, complete and permanent.

Humans’ reconciliation to God and to each other is a process that takes time and effort.  It may start today but is seldom finished quickly.  It may be underway—we may be on the path toward reconciliation—but remain very incomplete for years. 

    2. My Reconciliation Toward and With God

    We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God. God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

2 Corinthians 5:20-21 (NASB).

    Paul wrote to the Church, the believers in Corinth:

    We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God. God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

    2 Corinthians 5:20-21 (NASB).

    This is not an evangelistic appeal to unbelievers.  It is a plea to believers to permit ourselves to be reconciled to God, to fully trust him to let him make us become his righteousness—which is not our natural state.  It is a plea directly to me, to fully trust God.

    He is the head of the body, the assembly, who is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in all things he might have the preeminence. For all the fullness was pleased to dwell in him, and through him to reconcile all things to himself by him, whether things on the earth or things in the heavens, having made peace through the blood of his cross.
Colossians 1:18-20 (WEB)

    My reconciliation to God, though it is something I must choose to let him complete, is a part of God’s larger plan to reconcile all things to himself in Christ. That reconciliation is quite obviously a process that takes time–in fact, all of created time–and which has not yet been completed, as we see time. God has already made peace with all things through the blood of Jesus’ cross, but not all things are yet completely in subjection to him. This includes me!

     You, being in past times alienated and enemies in your mind in your evil deeds,  yet now he has reconciled in the body of his flesh through death, to present you holy and without defect and blameless before him, if it is so that you continue in the faith, grounded and steadfast, and not moved away from the hope of the Good News which you heard, which was proclaimed in all creation under heaven, of which I, Paul, was made a servant.
Colossians 1:21-23 (WEB)

    When Jesus gave me new life. I came to him as an enemy.  He was not my enemy, but I was his enemy—because I wrongly thought that my evil acts made him hostile toward me.  Colossians 1:21.  Now he has reconciled me by Christ’s physical body through death, , so that I no longer need to see myself as his enemy or act in opposition to him because of this perceived enmity.  Instead, is his purpose to present me to himself wholly set apart to him, unblemished and free from all accusation.  Colossians 1:22.  But while I remain here my reconciliation to God as a friend who continually recognizes God’s friendship and lives as his friend, is incomplete.  This is why Paul says that I will see God’s purpose accomplished here only if I continue firm in my faith and do not move away from it.  Colossians 1:23

    In my new life in Christ, do I always fully trust God?

    No.

    Do I still sometimes treat him—even unawares, sometimes—as my enemy, opposed to me and what I, in my own great wisdom, want?

    Yes. 

    And I have done so recently, in a manner which caused so much damage to some believers I love dearly that I am horrified by my own destructiveness.  My heart is broken, I suspect for the rest of my life.  I pray that God will deliver them quickly from the bitterness I have brought into their lives—even if this means that he must take me out of this life so that they will be able to forgive my grave, fully receive God’s grace and start to heal.

    God’s reconciliation to me is complete.

    My reconciliation to him is still very incomplete.

    3. Reconciliation of Believers as Members of the One Body of Christ

    35 But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing back; and your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High; for he is kind toward the unthankful and evil. 36 “Therefore be merciful,
    even as your Father is also merciful.  Luke 6:3536

    As I have said throughout this series, God expects me to freely forgive others who wrong me in the same way he forgives me when I sin against him.  This is true regardless of whether the one who wrongs me is a believer.  It is the most critical part of the larger command to love my neighbor.  I am to show love even to my enemies, in exactly the same way God loved me when I was his enemy. 

    “Therefore I tell you, all things whatever you pray and ask for, believe that you have received them, and you shall have them. Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone; so that your Father, who is in heaven, may also forgive you your transgressions. But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive your transgressions.”
Mark 11:24-26 (WEB)

    God does not love me by approving of my sins, or by making it easier for me to do any evil thing I want.  Forgiveness does not require me to go back to the same old, destructive relationship that led to the hurt, or to help the one I forgive sin some more—against me or others. It does not require me to approve of or to facilitate evil that they do.   But it does mean that I must give up the desire to harm them in return for the hurt done me—or to simply treat them as nonexistent, their needs as irrelevant.  They must remain real people to me, people God has my permission to love through me. 

    Therefore, putting away falsehood, speak truth each one with his neighbor, for we are members of one another. “Be angry, and don’t sin.” Don’t let the sun go down on your wrath, and don’t give place to the devil. Let him who stole steal no more; but rather let him labor, producing with his hands something that is good, that he may have something to give to him who has need.  Let no corrupt speech proceed out of your mouth, but only what is good for building others up as the need may be, that it may give grace to those who hear. Don’t grieve the Holy Spirit of God, in whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, outcry, and slander be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you.
Ephesians 4:25-32 (WEB)

    But where other believers are involved, God asks for more than this.  When an offense separates us, he wants us to reconcile.  He wants us to learn to treat each other as members of his one, unified, Body again, despite the hurt.  In reality, we are one already.  He has made us one, when he reconciled himself with us.  The reality that we are members of one Body, and brothers and sisters in one family, is already complete. 

    But just like learning to live as people God has already fully reconciled to himself by learning to reconcile ourselves to him, to live as his friends, takes time, so learning to live as members of one Body despite the hurts between us takes time.  Neither is complete yet. 

    23 “If therefore you are offering your gift at the altar, and there remember that your brother has anything against you, 24 leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.  Matthew 5:23-24

    But he expects us to be permitting him to complete it.  That is why he puts a duty on me when I am the offender to go and be reconciled to the one I have injured, and says to perform that duty before I try to do anything else for him.  Matthew 5:23-24, already discussed. 

    15 “If your brother sins against you, go, show him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained back your brother. 16 But if he doesn’t listen, take one or two more with you, that at the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. 17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the assembly. If he refuses to hear the assembly also, let him be to you as a Gentile or a tax collector. 18 Most certainly I tell you, whatever things you bind on earth will have been bound in heaven, and whatever things you release on earth will have been released in heaven. Matthew 18:15-18

    But that is also why he puts a duty on me when I am offended to go to the one who has offended me to tell them their offense, to try to “win” my brother or sister who offended me.  Matthew 18:15-20

    Brothers, even if a man is caught in some fault, you who are spiritual must restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, looking to yourself so that you also aren’t tempted.  Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.
Galatians 6:1-2 (WEB)

    And, when I know an offense that does not directly involve me threatens to divide the Body, I am to gently go to the offender to correct the situation, of I am able to keep a right spirit in doing so.  Galatians 6:1-2.   So, no one is left out.  The offender, the offended, and other believers who observe an offense, are all responsible for reconciliation. 

    Reconciliation between us is obviously of very high importance to God.  It shows to the world our reconciliation to him. 

    And, like my reconciliation to God, my reconciliation to other believers who have wronged me does not imply a return to the same old, destructive relationship.  My reconciliation to God is a whole new life, in which I am learning to trust him and follow him as a friend who always leads me to do what is right.  And my reconciliation to another believer through the Spirit is reconciliation to a wholly different relationship, in which we are both learning to listen to our common Head, Christ, in the way we treat each other. 

    But our reconciliation to each other is different from our reconciliation to God in one very important way:  God, who never was our enemy, is completely faithful.  The other believers with whom I must reconcile may have been my enemies, may have done me great wrong, and are weak, fallible and still affected by sin the same way I am.  They are not completely faithful.  But neither am I.  And they are also called upon to reconcile themselves to me, despite my continuing tendency to unfaithfulness. 

    For this reason, reconciliation with each other is usually a slow process, and often marked by failures that have to be overcome.

    But this is not an excuse to refuse to reconcile with another believer who has hurt me.   

    I am still called upon to work with the Holy Spirit, to let the Spirit work out reconciliation in my life.  My reconciliation to God and my reconciliation to other members of the Body are really parts of exactly the same thing.  So I must let God work his reconciliation in me.

    The success of the Body of Christ in its mission to the world depends on it.  So does my success as his child in this life.

    4. Reconciliation of Specific Relationships Between Individuals

    This is what most people think of when they hear the word “reconciliation” or advice that they should “reconcile” a dispute.  This kind of “reconciliation” refers to the resumption of some specific pre-existing relationship that was broken by an offense.  Thus, we can talk about “reconciling” a marriage, a business partnership, a commercial contract dispute,  the relationship of members or officers in an organization, an employment relationship, or any number of other, specific relationships.

    This kind of “reconciliation” is unlike my reconciliation with God, or my reconciliation with other believers in the Body, in some very important ways.

    Most importantly, it does not even try to be a complete reconciliation between the people involved.  Instead, it only restores enough harmony in the specific relationship that is reconciled to allow the people to function together in that relationship.  For instance, the parties to a business arrangement may agree to work harmoniously enough to keep that mutually profitable arrangement going, even though they continue to thoroughly hate each other outside the office.  Reconciliation of believers into one functioning Body cannot be like this!

    Limited “reconciliation” of a specific relationship usually does not presuppose any change in the relationship.  The parties may agree to change some details of the relationship to reach an agreement, but the underlying agreement usually remains essentially unchanged. But “reconciliation” in the Body of Christ means a thorough change in the relationship itself, in favor of a relationship that is increasingly controlled by the Head.   

    Finally, worldly “reconciliation” of a specific relationship rarely requires any permanent change to a party in matters outside that specific relationship.  “Reconciliation” in the Body of Christ always requires both or all parties to change, to become more Christlike.   

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