The Four Types of Reconciliation

1. God’s Reconciliation toward Me

This aspect of reconciliation is almost identical to the Atonement.  From the beginning, God loved me so much that he gave his unique Son Jesus, who was one with him from eternity, to provide for forgiveness of my sin, give me true life, and to make me one with him.  Colossians says that, until this happened, at least, my sins made me God’s enemy in my own mind. Colossians 1:21.  It says I was God’s enemy in my own mind.  It doesn’t say he was my enemy, only that I was his enemy because I believed him to be my enemy because of my sins. 

But, in whatever sense God may once have been my enemy, he is now completely reconciled to me forever.  Jesus’ death took care of that.  God no longer counts my sin against me.  His reconciliation to me is already perfect and complete.  I can’t add to it, and I can’t undo it.

In this way God’s reconciliation to me is UNLIKE my reconciliation to God and my reconciliation to other people separated from me by an offense.

God’s reconciliation to me is instantaneous, complete and permanent.

Humans’ reconciliation to God and to each other is a process that takes time and effort.  It may start today but is seldom finished quickly.  It may be underway—we may be on the path toward reconciliation—but remain very incomplete for years. 

2. My Reconciliation Toward and With God

Paul wrote to the Church, the believers in Corinth:

We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God. God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

2 Corinthians 5:20-21 (NASB).

This is not an evangelistic appeal to unbelievers.  It is a plea to believers to permit ourselves to be reconciled to God, to fully trust him to let him make us become his righteousness—which is not our natural state.  It is a plea directly to me, to fully trust God.

When Jesus gave me new life. I came to him as an enemy.  He was not my enemy, but I was his enemy—because I wrongly thought that my evil acts made him hostile toward me.  Colossians 1:21.  Now he has reconciled me by Christ’s physical body through death, , so that I no longer need to see myself as his enemy or act in opposition to him because of this perceived enmity.  Instead, is his purpose to present me to himself wholly set apart to him, unblemished and free from all accusation.  Colossians 1:22.  But while I remain here my reconciliation to God as a friend who continually recognizes God’s friendship and lives as his friend, is incomplete.  This is why Paul says that I will see God’s purpose accomplished here only if I continue firm in my faith and do not move away from it.  Colossians 1:23. 

In my new life in Christ, do I always fully trust God?

No.

Do I still sometimes treat him—even unawares, sometimes—as my enemy, opposed to me and what I, in my own great wisdom, want?

Yes. 

And I have done so recently, in a manner which caused so much damage to some believers I love dearly that I am horrified by my own destructiveness.  My heart is broken, I suspect for the rest of my life.  I pray that God will deliver them quickly from the bitterness I have brought into their lives—even if this means that he must take me out of this life so that they will be able to forgive my grave, fully receive God’s grace and start to heal.

God’s reconciliation to me is complete.

My reconciliation to him is still very incomplete.

3. Reconciliation of Believers as Members of the One Body of Christ

As I have said throughout this series, God expects me to freely forgive others who wrong me in the same way he forgives me when I sin against him.  This is true regardless of whether the one who wrongs me is a believer.  It is the most critical part of the larger command to love my neighbor.  I am to show love even to my enemies, in exactly the same way God loved me when I was his enemy. 

God does not love me by approving of my sins, or by making it easier for me to do any evil thing I want.  Forgiveness does not require me to go back to the same old, destructive relationship that led to the hurt, or to help the one I forgive sin some more—against me or others. It does not require me to approve of or to facilitate evil that they do.   But it does mean that I must give up the desire to harm them in return for the hurt done me—or to simply treat them as nonexistent, their needs as irrelevant.  They must remain real people to me, people God has my permission to love through me. 

But where other believers are involved, God asks for more than this.  When an offense separates us, he wants us to reconcile.  He wants us to learn to treat each other as members of his one, unified, Body again, despite the hurt.  In reality, we are one already.  He has made us one, when he reconciled himself with us.  The reality that we are members of one Body, and brothers and sisters in one family, is already complete. 

But just like learning to live as people God has already fully reconciled to himself by learning to reconcile ourselves to him, to live as his friends, takes time, so learning to live as members of one Body despite the hurts between us takes time.  Neither is complete yet. 

But he expects us to be permitting him to complete it.  That is why he puts a duty on me when I am the offender to go and be reconciled to the one I have injured, and says to perform that duty before I try to do anything else for him.  Matthew 5:23-24, already discussed.  But that is also why he puts a duty on me when I am offended to go to the one who has offended me to tell them their offense, to try to “win” my brother or sister who offended me.  Matthew 18:15-20.  And, when I know an offense that does not directly involve me threatens to divide the Body, I am to gently go to the offender to correct the situation, of I am able to keep a right spirit in doing so.  Galatians 6:1-2.   So,no one is left out.  The offender, the offended, and other believers who observe an offense, are all responsible for reconciliation. 

Reconciliation between us is obviously of very high importance to God.  It shows to the world our reconciliation to him. 

And, like my reconciliation to God, my reconciliation to other believers who have wronged me does not imply a return to the same old, destructive relationship.  My reconciliation to God is a whole new life, in which I am learning to trust him and follow him as a friend who always leads me to do what is right.  And my reconciliation to another believer through the Spirit is reconciliation to a wholly different relationship, in which we are both learning to listen to our common Head, Christ, in the way we treat each other. 

But our reconciliation to each other is different from our reconciliation to God in one very important way:  God, who never was our enemy, is completely faithful.  The other believers with whom I must reconcile may have been my enemies, may have done me great wrong, and are weak, fallible and still affected by sin the same way I am.  They are not completely faithful.  But neither am I.  And they are also called upon to reconcile themselves to me, despite my continuing tendency to unfaithfulness. 

For this reason, reconciliation with each other is usually a slow process, and often marked by failures that have to be overcome.

But this is not an excuse to refuse to reconcile with another believer who has hurt me.   

I am still called upon to work with the Holy Spirit, to let the Spirit work out reconciliation in my life.  My reconciliation to God and my reconciliation to other members of the Body are really parts of exactly the same thing.  So I must let God work his reconciliation in me.

The success of the Body of Christ in its mission to the world depends on it.  So does my success as his child in this life.

4. Reconciliation of Specific Relationships Between Individuals

This is what most people think of when they hear the word “reconciliation” or advice that they should “reconcile” a dispute.  This kind of “reconciliation” refers to the resumption of some specific pre-existing relationship that was broken by an offense.  Thus, we can talk about “reconciling” a marriage, a business partnership, a commercial contract dispute,  the relationship of members or officers in an organization, an employment relationship, or any number of other, specific relationships.

This kind of “reconciliation” is unlike my reconciliation with God, or my reconciliation with other believers in the Body, in some very important ways.

Most importantly, it does not even try to be a complete reconciliation between the people involved.  Instead, it only restores enough harmony in the specific relationship that is reconciled to allow the people to function together in that relationship.  For instance, the parties to a business arrangement may agree to work harmoniously enough to keep that mutually profitable arrangement going, even though they continue to thoroughly hate each other outside the office.  Reconciliation of believers into one functioning Body cannot be like this!

Limited “reconciliation” of a specific relationship usually does not presuppose any change in the relationship.  The parties may agree to change some details of the relationship to reach an agreement, but the underlying agreement usually remains essentially unchanged. But “reconciliation” in the Body of Christ means a thorough change in the relationship itself, in favor of a relationship that is increasingly controlled by the Head.   

Finally, worldly “reconciliation” of a specific relationship rarely requires any permanent change to a party in matters outside that specific relationship.  “Reconciliation” in the Body of Christ always requires both or all parties to change, to become more Christlike.