The Parable of the Unforgiving Servant in Matthew 18 shows that an unresolved offense keeps both parties imprisoned, bound from service, though only the unforgiving one is tortured by their unforgiveness.
I will quote the entire parable, then make a few comments:
Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”
Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.
“Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold was brought to him. Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.
“At this the servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.
“But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins. He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded.
“His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.’
“But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened.
“Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.
“This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”
The first servant’s debt to the Master was gigantic–one commentator says it was about 9 million years’ wages for an average worker in that day.
But the Master forgave and canceled it. That debt couldn’t be revived. The first servant left owing nothing.
The second servant’s debt was substantial–a little over 3 months’ wages. So commentators who say it was trivial, and this parable only applies to etiquette slights and minor offenses, are wrong. It applies also to debts, or grudges, arising from serious offenses. But it was a debt the second servant could undoubtedly have paid if given enough time–and all he asked was more time to pay, not absolute immediate forgiveness. However, the second servant’s debt was miniscule when compared to the debt the Master had forgiven the first servant.
The first servant would neither forgive the second servant (as the Master had done for him) nor give him more time to pay (as he had asked). Instead, he exercised his legal right to have the second servant thrown into debtors’ prison until he paid the debt. (As a practical matter, this would mean that the second servant’s family would have to come up with the money, because the second servant was earning no wages in prison).
On hearing if this, the Master calls the first servant a “wicked servant” because he had “no mercy” on the second servant. He ordered that the first servant be imprisoned and tortured until he paid his debt. But what debt did he still owe? The first, huge, debt had been canceled. The debt he now owed was an obligation to extend to his debtor the same mercy the Master had shown him.
But the Master did NOT release the second servant from debtors’ prison. he could not release him. He didn’t own the debt.
Only the first servant could release the second servant from prison. Until he did so, both would remain in prison. The first servant would be tortured for (or by???) his unforgiveness. The second would not be tortured, but would remain locked up, unable to serve.
And that is my main point–an unresolved offense keeps both parties bound from service, not just the one who has been offended and holds the power to forgive.
Again, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a commentary or heard a sermon that picked up on the fact that the second servant also remains in prison. It’s pretty obvious on the face of the text, but maybe I’m just being foolish to point it out. We’d much rather think that, when people hold grudges against us, they hurt only themselves.